forcing open the eyes of the blind
by Stormjade
Summary: Jean plucks up some courage to give some flowers to Mikasa. Who knew it'd lead to something so much darker? two-shot, rated T for angst/slight gore.
1. bleeding, dirtied hands

**/first jeankasa fic. i can't get this idea out of my head.**

* * *

Jean clenched the delicate white flowers in his hands. His fingers twitched nervously as his eyes followed Mikasa's beauty as the girl walked to her room. He summoned his courage and drew a long breath, trying to calm his nerves. He nervously called out to her.

"M-mikasa! Mikasa! Wait up!"

She turned, piercing him with those gray eyes he found so entrancing. He gulped. He himself didn't understand how he could feel so strongly for such an intimidating woman.

"Mikasa…I…"

She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I got these flowers for you…they…they reminded me of your pretty skin…"

He winced inwardly. Could he _be_ any less awkward?

Mikasa's expression said nothing.

"Sorry. I can't accept them. Thanks for the compliment."

Jean's heart constricted in his chest at being so ruthlessly torn down. He knew he didn't have much of a chance with her, but not even a smile? Not a single kind word?

"W-wait!" was all he could choke out.  
"What?"  
"Is…is it that…Eren?"

Jean's nervousness melted away from the heat of his anger and jealousy. Mikasa's fist clenched.

"Why do you pursue him so relentlessly? Can't you see that he doesn't return your affections? Why do you keep asking for heartbreak over and over? Why do you always idolize him?! _Why_?!"

Jean's nervousness had now completely melted to reveal the hurt and rage that had been boiling inside him since he met Eren and Mikasa. The girl kept her face stone cold as she charged forward silently to punch him in the stomach, making him drop to his knees, the flowers falling to the ground.

"The same could be said for you, bastard. You pursue me when you know I'll never return your affections. Damn hypocrite."

He let out a short laugh of amusement.

"Mikasa. We both pursue people who'll never love us, but I'm very different from you. You would blindly follow Eren to the ends of the Earth. Even if he tries to kill you, you cover it up. In your mind, you smooth over his faults and ignore his problems and make him your _god_."

He lifted his head to stare right at her eyes.

"I know of your faults. I will admit that I find your attachment to that bastard weird and unhealthy. I will admit that your emotionless attitude creeps me out. I know what you do wrong and I'm willing to accept that, because I **love** you. You don't love Eren, because you can't see what's wrong with him. I may follow you relentlessly, but at least I'm not **_blind_**."

Mikasa's expression never changed as she forced her boot straight into his chest, knocking him flat onto his back. He didn't resist or try to defend himself. She kicked him in his side, smashed her heel into his ribcage, felt bones snap and grind together. Her toe connected solidly with his temple, making his head ring. Tears started to stream from Jean's eyes, but not from the pain. Seeing her blind broke his already crushed heart.

Mikasa grabbed his collar and threw him against the wall, evoking a groan from the broken and bleeding man.

"What is wrong with you? **Just leave me alone!**"

She was surprised to feel tears running down her own cheeks and even more surprised to hear how hoarse her voice sounded.

He just lay on his stomach, blood dripping into his eyes from a cut on his temple. He tried to at least crawl to her, wipe the tears from her eyes and try to apologize, but he was too weak and bloody to even stay conscious. Just before his vision went black, he saw Eren, Armin, Christa, and Reiner come running towards them, apparently having heard the shouting.

"Oh my god, Jean!" Christa cried, hand covering her mouth.

She and Reiner flew to his side to help him, as the pool of blood under him was slowly growing larger.

Eren and Armin only stared in shock at Mikasa, who had tears rushing down her cheeks, and was staring at Jean's limp form.

"M-mikasa? What happened?"

Eren's tentative words made her jump. She turned to look at him, but found that it was excruciatingly hard to look at his eyes. She looked down instead.

Her gaze shifted to the others, who had been attracted by the commotion. Bertholdt, Annie, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Petra, Erd, and Captain Levi were all making their way towards her, curious to see what happened. In an instant, she found herself swept into a current of questions and worried remarks about Jean.

"Jean! What happened?"  
"Oh my god, Mikasa's crying!"

Armin picked up the bouquet of flowers that was lying a few feet from Jean. Some of the petals were stained red.

"Jean's unconscious, come help us!"  
"I think his ribs are broken…"  
"Shit, is he **dead**?"

Mikasa wiped her tears and allowed herself one last look at Jean's still figure before turning her back and rushing away, trying to ignore the blood coating her shoes.


	2. healing, or not

_Thank god Jean didn't die._

Mikasa may have been the one to hurt him, but she didn't want the blood of a human on her hands.

Besides, she still had things to say to him.

Jean had only broken a rib, and he hadn't suffered any lasting head injury. He would heal soon and be ready to fight in the next mission.

He sat up in his bed, absently looking out the window.

_Nice morning,_ he thought to himself.

The door open, and Mikasa strode in. They hadn't talked since she hurt him two weeks ago. She had finally found the courage.

He was the only thing on her mind for two weeks. She felt a wide range of emotions, more emotions she thought she was capable of experiencing. Regret, worry, of course anger, self-consciousness, and horror.

She regretted hurting him.

She worried about his health.

She was angry at how vulnerable she was.

She was self-conscious about how Eren was scared of her.

She felt horror at the monster she had become.

Mikasa opened her mouth to speak.

"So."  
"…..so."  
"Are you healing?"  
"Yes, thank you."

She winced inwardly. Why should he ever thank her?

"I have something to say to you."  
"I thought you would."  
"Jean…I'm so sorry."

He looked at his hands, idly resting on the sheets. He didn't know what he could say.

"I overreacted. But I love Eren. I can never love you."

He only turned to look at her. Her tone was remorseful and pained, and small wrinkles creased her forehead with worry.

"I know, Mikasa, but…"

His hand, trembling, reached out to take hers. Gently, he took hold of her fingers and an angry tear trailed down his cheeks. To hear those words, even if he already knew, pained him to no end.

Mikasa wanted to shy away from his touch, wanted to run from his teary gaze. She willed herself to stay.

"Mikasa, I just can't stop loving you. No matter what happens…"

He swallowed, looking down again and choking on his words.

"_No matter what happens, I'll always love you._"

She pulled away from him, her chest constricting with regret. She rejects him time and time again, nearly kills him, and he's still in love with her. Does he _want _to be miserable?

Shaking, she balled her hand into a fist and resisted the urge to strike him. She kept her expression calm.

"Then it's not my fault if you're heartbroken for the rest of your life. This is your choice."  
"I know that, Mikasa."  
"I will never love you. Ever."  
"I know that, too."

She felt like screaming. **GOD**, he made her **SO DAMN ANGRY**. Mikasa drew a deep breath and met his gaze.

Mikasa turned, leaving his room. She felt his eyes on her back, even when she closed the door.

—

During the next mission, Jean's ribs started hurting, and in the moment that Jean was distracted, a titan had ambushed him. A 15-meter class, the clumsy monster had stepped on him. Reiner, Armin, and Connie had witnessed the death. He was burned in the next funeral pyre.

Mikasa never mourned for him.

_**fin**_


End file.
